In It Ends With Us, Lively performs Lily Bloom, a girl whose fairytale romance with Ryle (Justin Baldoni) turns into an abusive relationship when he turns into violent in the direction of her. At the movie’s premiere, Lively was requested what she want to say to actual life victims who may see the film and acknowledge their very own traumas in it. “I believe that you simply’re a lot—and to not reduce it—however you might be a lot greater than only a survivor or only a sufferer,”Lively responded. “While that could be a large factor, you’re a particular person of multitudes, and what somebody has finished to you doesn’t outline you. You outline you.” She added that It Ends With Us, “is a narrative that covers home violence however it’s not about home violence.”
What this reply, like a lot of our dialog about home violence, misses is the sense of disgrace victims of DV typically expertise. In reality, that is why Lively deserves large props for bringing a nuanced portrayal of abuse to the forefront with IEWU. I simply want her response confirmed the identical form of nuance and sensitivity because the movie. I’m certain it wasn’t her intention, however the language Lively used on this reply performs proper into folks’s shameful associations with DV.
Saying somebody is “greater than only a survivor” or “greater than only a sufferer,” implies that there’s one thing dangerous about figuring out as a sufferer within the first place. Or that being a sufferer is one thing that have to be compensated for. Our tradition generally associates victimhood with weak spot, and, even when we don’t imply to, generally our language reinforces these connotations.
IT ENDS WITH US, from left: Blake Lively Justin Baldoni, 2024. © Sony Pictures Releasing / courtesy Everett Collection©Sony Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection
