Or, no less than, that’s what I assumed till I met somebody. She was by no means massive on marriage – and by extension, weddings – both. It was one thing neither of us thought we might do. Except when she requested me “How about it?” on a seaside in Ibiza one pastel-colored morning over glasses of orange juice, it was the easiest yes of my life. We by no means wanted marriage as a dedication, however that just about made it extra romantic, like a rebel towards ourselves. It’s as if we had been saying: it’s OK to interrupt your personal guidelines for the precise particular person; it’s OK to shock even your self.
But then the marriage day began creeping up. “Should I put on a hat?” folks joked good-naturedly, and I’d really feel my chest constrict as if there wasn’t sufficient oxygen within the room. “What track are you going to play for the primary dance?” they’d ask (purpose #10,792 why I’ve by no means wished a marriage: everybody watching you do a bizarre, sluggish dance that you simply’d by no means do in another situation). I’ve by no means even preferred the concept of a birthday celebration (all through most of my twenties, I went to New York alone on my birthday), so the truth that I’d agreed to get married began feeling more and more ludicrous. Whenever I attempted to examine the large day – me hurtling a bouquet into the sky, an uncle getting drunk with somebody I went to highschool with, all that towering cake – I felt like I used to be picturing another person’s life. Nice in concept, however nothing to do with me.
Eventually, one thing needed to give. I couldn’t associate with no matter folks thought I’d associate with. Fortunately, my fiancé felt the identical means. And so we agreed: there could be no company. There could be no wedding ceremony attire. There could be no aisle or “making a gift of” of the bride (unsure how that works in a lesbian wedding ceremony anyway – do they push us ahead on the identical time?). Instead, we settled on eloping. On a seaside in Formentera. Both of us in white bikinis and cowboy hats. Maybe afterwards we’d dunk ourselves within the sea water. Whatever felt proper on the time. But crucially: no company! No one watching us have interaction on this ceremony that’s concurrently essentially the most well-established but weird custom on this planet.
