In the ebook, “Grief is Love,” writer Marisa Renee Lee revealed in an interview on “CBS Mornings” how she discovered pleasure and achievement after experiencing grief that got here with infertility and being pregnant loss earlier than adopting her son, Bennett.
“I believe that individuals do not perceive while you lose a being pregnant, it isn’t in regards to the bodily loss,” Lee mentioned. “It’s a lot extra in regards to the lack of hope, the lack of the plans that you just and your companion maybe had for your loved ones. It could be very, very difficult to wrap your thoughts round.”
Lee mentioned these losses are sometimes in non-public, and emotions of disgrace, failure or anger might emerge.
“You really feel like you need to be capable of do that very pure and regular factor that all of us develop up believing is simple for everybody, and when it does not work out, it is extremely difficult.”
In her ebook, Lee pressured grief does not have a timeline and that everybody grieves in a different way, even {couples}. In the context of her marriage, she mentioned her miscarriage and infertility journey have been troublesome, as she and her husband needed to develop their very own methods of coping whereas additionally discovering the house to share their grief.
On a private stage, Lee mentioned she gave herself permission to cry each time she wanted, describing the hardships of returning to on a regular basis life after a loss.
“The variety of instances I’d be within the grocery retailer and see a toddler run into their mom’s arms and simply really feel heartbroken, you realize, it was actual,” she mentioned. “It wasn’t about, ‘I’m jealous that they’ve this factor that I haven’t got,’ it was extra about my very own loss.”
Lee mentioned if in case you have a member of the family or buddy experiencing infertility or loss, there are issues you are able to do to assist. She defined that grief has an impression on the physique and mind and urged doing one thing to make their life simpler, like make a meal for them or stroll their canine. She additionally urged doing one thing that reminds them they are going to be OK and that brings a smile to their face.
Lee mentioned she desires to normalize the challenges in life, and mentioned she’s discovered that grief and pleasure can coexist.
“No one’s strolling round sporting a T-shirt that claims, ‘I simply misplaced a being pregnant,’ or ‘I’m grieving.’ This idea of grief versus pleasure, I believe we now have to do away with that and acknowledge that you may expertise pleasure impartial of grief, and you’ll expertise pleasure within the midst of grief. It’s OK for these items to be commingled.”
